You Are Not Me

Dear Reader:
You may think you know me. But you don't.
Maybe I'm not be the best writer.
Maybe I don't write about how people in other countries do their food storage. Maybe I don't write what you want to read. Maybe you'll want to read something else. Maybe I'm not sorry for that either. Maybe I just want to make people happy, but I don't like to brag about myself when I do it. Maybe I love people, but maybe I hate their sarcasm. Taz vez solo quiero pensar en espanol para que nadie me entienda. Maybe I hate boys and the concept that one day I'll have to marry one of them. Maybe I hate cooking for myself because everything ends in a disaster. Maybe I just want to cry right now because I'm so frustrated with the world. Maybe I'm bored but I can't decide if I like it or dislike it. Maybe I'd like to meet new people, but I prefer just holing down here in the basement with my computer typing my heart out. Maybe I hate people really. Maybe I despise change. Maybe I fear that people don't like me. Maybe I really am a happy person, but right now I'm just mad. Maybe I'm mad because I think those who are closest to me don't really care about the things I care about. Maybe I'm blocking myself out. Maybe I really don't like myself right now. Maybe I'm good at some things, but I don't know what, so I just keep doing what I've always done, hoping that someday I'll be good at something, when really I'm not good at anything.
So maybe I'm not the best writer.
Maybe I just don't care because I know if I wrote what you wanted to read, it wouldn't be me.
You wouldn't understand. Not even Maybe.
You wouldn't understand. Ever.
Because you are not me.

I Love Water

The Love of Water
Water is like love.
We all need it.
Sometimes it's hot and passionate.
Sometimes it leaks out a bit at a time.
With it, we clean ourselves,
our dishes, our clothes, and cars.
Sometimes we crave it.
Sometimes we have to pay more to use it.
Life stinks (literally) without it.
It's very refreshing.
And delicious to partake.
Plus also, it's always fun to surprise your friends
with a little spurt of it every now and then.

Tribute to Trees

William Goldman in his novel The Princess Bride mentions how the supposedly original author of the tale, S. Morgenstern, loved trees. Apparently, Goldman revised (ok, excluded is the better word choice here) several pages of Morgenstern's literary tribute to trees. In action-packed part of the novel (ok, well this is actually from Buttercup's Baby, the revised sequel, included in the 30th anniversary edition of Princess Bride), Goldman comments that he cut out a huge chunk of a literary tribute to trees that Morgenstern had originally included. He (Morgenstern) figured that the only way people would read his environmentalist plug, would be to include in the most action-packed part of the book.
That's why I found it so funny when I watched the movie again today. As Westley and Buttercup bravely enter the Fire Swamp, the grandpa narrates: "Great trees block the sun." And later Westley comments, "It's not that bad. I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely."
Lovely trees . . .oh yes! =)

Couch Potato

So, the next few weeks for me will be relatively .. .unbusy. In honor of my couch potato status, I would like to share a few favorite experiences of sleeping on the couch.
1. In our house in Texas. I had an era in my childhood when I was scared to sleep in my bed. Why . ..who knows. Maybe Heidi smelled bad. Or maybe my bed was uncomfortable. Or maybe I overheard Dad snoring. Dunno, really. But sometimes, I'd sneak out and sleep on the living room couch facing the front door. My only fear: that a robber would break in the front door during the night.
I was a brilliant child.
2. In my current apartment, Thanksgiving 2008. Mom came to visit, but I convinced her to stay the night here since all my roommates were out of town. We slept on the couches. I had the little one, and although it was comfy, it was way too small. My body was all crinkled when I woke up.
3. In Mom's missionary apartment. The air mattress was just too cold. Plus also, Mom had left her scriptures there after reading them. And I was too lazy to inflate the air.
4. In the Hansen's home. Only they don't believe in heaters, so I was pretty cold. But I used Emily's fake-animal print blankets.
5. At my friend Hannah's apartment. We started watching a movie, and I fell asleep in the opening credits. I woke up at 3 am, and then drove home, picking up some of Hannah's stuff that she left at my apartment to take it back to her.
I'm sure there are many other occasions, like the I-was-reading-a-book-and-it-put-me-to-sleep. Futons? Well, that's another story . . .But, I must admit . . .some couches are pretty comfortable. =)

Top Ten List of "Why I'm posting on my blog"

1. I've been away for 18 months.
2. I know that Jon, Spencer, Heidi, and prolly the others of my family are anxiously waiting to see a new blog post.
3. Like every recently returned missionary, I feel a little bored with a lack of things to do.
4. I'm checking on the internet on my newly set up computer. Yup, it works.
5. I was reading my last blog posts and they were pretty funny. I'll have to write some more funny stuff.
6. I'm practicing my english, although the whole writing thing ain't rilly a pro'lem.
7. I know you've missed me.
8. I've missed ya'll peeps too.
9. I got distracted down here in the basement in my process of moving my junk.
10. And simply .. . I want you to know that I love you!

A Few More Treasures . ..

So, Heidi and I convinced Mom that our project today should be to get rid of extranneous wall decor in the house today. Starting in Mom's office . . .here's what we found:

Okay, so the little paddle lookin' thing is actually from the kitchen, but it's just as hideodorous. Our other favorites in the office were a way old version of the YW theme with pen marks all over it and stuffed handprint thingys from 4 of Mom's kids. I found out that Mom used to belong to a craft club; every month she'd get a package of supplies and instructions to make certain crafts. I'm pretty sure her entire office was decorated in those tacky crafts.

So, after going around the house, somehow I realized the second time passing through the living room that we had somehow passed over this little gem. Um .. . .right. My favorite thing about this one is how totally random and ugly everything in all these compartments is. Mom claimed she loved the shape of the octagon thing, so she found things to put in it. I didn't even let her consider keeping it because even if she did like the shape and took out this ugly stuff, . .. she's prolly refill it with more ugly mismatched stuff. Notice the broken hands of the praying boy . . .

The changing of the wall decor wouldn't be complete without playing our little game . ..namely, swapping decorations or items around the house waiting for Mom to notice and laugh. This game started a few years ago when we were taking down Christmas decorations, and occassionaly we like to play it again. But when you have a pile of ugly wall decor that we're getting rid of . ..oh, it makes the game so much more fun! Here's a couple of my personal favorites:

(featuring the lovely Young Women rainbow thing that used to hang in the Master bedroom)

.. .and this one . . .

(That's a little picture of me with painted pasta on the homemade frame . .. also from Mom's office. I'm pretty sure I made that in girl scouts.) I also put the Steeles in the bathroom, and I swapped the wheat thing from Mom's office (see above picture) with the fake flowers in her bathroom.

And if that wasn't enough for today . . ..we also cleaned out Mom's clothes!! Here are some great gems we found there . . .

This is a lovely pantyhose holder from Aunt Lynette. If you look closely, you can see the little pocket where you put stuff in. Can you believe there were still panty hose in there?!

How about this dress here:

Does this dress ring a bell to anyone? Let's add some peeps, and see if you see what I'm seeing! =)

That's it folks! The exact dress Mom was wearing in this picture. And let me tell you, when she was my age (which is how old she was in this picture), she was rill small. My bust barely fit, and believe it or not my arms almost lost circulation putting on this thing. But, it was definitely fun.

Demotivator

Are you familiar with those demotivator posters? You know, like the one with the guy who just got punched, and you see his sweat flying everywhere, and the caption says "PAIN: You will feel that in the morning." Well, sometimes I think of myself as a demotivator poster while I'm in Midland. Granted, that doesn't mean that I'm being punched or waking up with extreme pain, but I do feel quite the demotivator.
I came home for the summer with the intent to help Mom pack and move, right? Well, it seems I'm too early for that. Especially since she's getting professional movers, I can't do any of the packing because I'll be gone by the time they actually come. So, when it comes to sorting out junk in the house .. . .well, I've discovered that there's hardly a room or closet or cupboard in the house that can't be sorted through without Mom's supervision. "Oh, I'd like to save that . . .I'll use it someday." Um, right, Mom. You can go ahead and use that big ugly kerosine lamp and the cassette tape holder because I'm sure they'll fit right in at your new house.
Clearly, you can see my sense of demotivation right now. It seems like any task I try to do, I have to stop right away because Mom's not there to give me a run-down of what she really needs to save. Perhaps that's why I find it so satisfactory to sleep in so much . . .it's not like I'd be much help around the house anyway.
So, maybe I was wrong. Perhaps the Lord is telling me that I didn't come home to help Mom pack and move like I originally thought. Perhaps the reason I came home was for my benefit . ..to learn a lesson or two on patience.